How lonely are you? How lonely do you feel? Why do you feel lonely? Even when people are surrounding you the feeling of disconnectedness can be present. Your body is there but your mind is elsewhere thinking too much about something else or something that likely doesn’t even exist. When the conversation goes silent or the conversation never even began, that feeling of queerness, the feeling of silence, the feeling of loneliness, completely uncomfortable and unforgiving.
What is so scary about being alone? To just sit and be with yourself and your thoughts? But no no no, that is too much and therefore we reach for distractions. It goes quiet, grab your phone from your pocket and find someone else to “talk to”. Constantly talking to people who also need a distraction or posting to artificially create a feeling of some kind of satisfaction and/or rapport. Even when taking a picture, there is a phone or camera in between you and what you are seeing. Therefore, by definition you can never be truly in front of what is in front of you. Not to say that this kind of communication is faulty, but to constantly be connected, you end up being constantly disconnected from everything – disconnected from the people around you and from yourself. All to combat this fear of being lonely.
Well what is so wrong with yourself that you can’t just sit and think and be lonely? What is preventing you from being content or dare I say happy, with who you are and the thoughts that come with that? Why must someone else gratify your day of purposeful and/or pointless activities? Why is it not enough to do something for yourself and others and not advertise it for others to see? Virtue signalling is not very virtuous.
“There is no worse vice than one that imitates virtue; worst of all is the one that claims virtue: virtue signaling.” – Nassim Nicholas Taleb@nntaleb – twitter
I recommend reading Skin in the Game by Nassim Taleb, as it shows the truth.
So…perhaps the thing is that you think too much…and feel too little. There is probably nothing ‘wrong’ with you and the feeling of being alone is completely fictitious. Being brought up in the information age, one is constantly surrounded by tinnitus noise. Our minds having nothing to do but try and process this information, throwing it into a vicious circle and therefore we now have trouble jumping out of the current. Try and allow yourself to just relax. Practise meditation at least 10 minutes a day. Allow your thoughts to pass through. Watch them as they go by. That’s it. I guess you can download an app to help you if necessary (Headspace/Calm), but drop it as soon as possible. Listen to this video on how our minds are vicious circles by Alan Watts, click here.
Everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives. Silence is a gift. It is a test of your spirit and soul. You get to be with yourself…how wonderful is that? You get to know and see how special you are…and we are all special. There is no way we can’t be. So next time you are alone or feel lonely, allow yourself to be and feel alone.